Biggus dickus wife

Scene What's So Funny About Biggus Dickus?

Life of Brian Script

The sketch:

trumpets

PONTIUS PILATE: Make one large living awea. Ahh.

CENTURION: Hail Caesar.

PILATE: Hail.

Life of brian quotes big gus dickus youtube

PILATE: I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'. GUARD #4: chuckling. PILATE: Silence! What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behavior like that. BRIAN: Can I go now, sir? slap. Aaah! Eh. PILATE: Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this. GUARD #4: chuckling.

CENTURION: Only one survivor, sir.

PILATE: Ah. Thwow him to the floor.

CENTURION: What, sir?

PILATE: Thwow him to the floor.

CENTURION: Ah.

whump

BRIAN: Aagh!

PILATE: Hmm. Now, what is your name, Jew?

BRIAN: 'Brian', sir.

PILATE: 'Bwian', eh?

BRIAN: No, no.

'Brian'.

slap

Aah!

PILATE: Hoo hoo hoo ho. The little wascal has spiwit.

CENTURION: Has what, sir?

Monty python life of brian quotes Monty Python's Life of Brian: Directed by Terry Jones. With Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle. Born on the original Christmas in the stable next door to Jesus Christ, Brian of Nazareth spends his life being mistaken for a messiah.

PILATE: Spiwit.

CENTURION: Yes. He did, sir.

PILATE: No, no. Spiwit, siw. Um, bwavado. A touch of dewwing-do.

CENTURION: Oh. Ahh, about eleven, sir.

PILATE: So, you dare to waid us.

BRIAN: To what, sir?

PILATE: Stwike him, Centuwion, vewy woughly!

slap

BRIAN: Aaah!

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  • CENTURION: Oh, and, uh, throw him to the floor, sir?

    PILATE: What?

    CENTURION: Thwow him to the floor again, sir?

    PILATE: Oh, yes. Thwow him to the floor, please.

    BRIAN: Aah!

    whump

    PILATE: Now, Jewish wapscallion.

    BRIAN: I'm not Jewish. I'm a Roman.

    PILATE: A Woman?

    BRIAN: No, no.

    Roman.

    slap

    Aah!

    PILATE: So, your father was a Woman. Who was he?

    BRIAN: He was a centurion in the Jerusalem Garrisons.

    PILATE: Weally? What was his name?

    BRIAN: 'Nortius Maximus'.

    CENTURION: Ahh, ha ha!

    PILATE: Centuwion, do we have anyone of that name in the gawwison?

    CENTURION: Well, no, sir.

    PILATE: Well, you sound vewy sure. Have you checked?

    CENTURION: Well, no, sir. Umm, I think it's a joke, sir, like, uh, 'Sillius Soddus' or 'Biggus Dickus', sir.

    GUARD #4:chuckling

    PILATE: What's so funny about 'Biggus Dickus'?

    CENTURION: Well, it's a joke name, sir.

    PILATE: I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.

    GUARD #4:chuckling

    PILATE: Silence!

    Life of brian quotes big gus dickus PILATE: I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'. GUARD #4: chuckling. PILATE: Silence! What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behavior like that. BRIAN: Can I go now, sir? slap. Aaah! Eh. PILATE: Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this. GUARD #4: chuckling.

    What is all this insolence? You will find yourself in gladiator school vewy quickly with wotten behavior like that.

    BRIAN: Can I go now, sir?

    slap

    Aaah! Eh.

    PILATE: Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this.

    GUARD #4:chuckling

    PILATE: Wight! Take him away!

    CENTURION: Oh, sir, he-- he only--

    PILATE: No, no.

    I want him fighting wabid, wild animals within a week.

    CENTURION: Yes, sir. Come on, you.

    GUARD #4: Ha ha haa ha, ha ha ha. Hooo hooo hoo hoo. Hoo hoo

    PILATE: I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy. Anybody else feel like a little giggle when I mention my fwiend Biggus

    GUARD #1:chuckling

    PILATE: Dickus?

    Monty python quotes holy grail: Do you find it wisible when I say the name Biggus Dickus? [the centurions are barely able to hold in their snickers at this point; continues to provoke them, returning to the soldiers that brought Brian] He has a wife, you know.

    GUARD #1:chuckling

    PILATE: What about you? Do you find it wisible when I say the name 'Biggus'

    GUARD #3:chuckle

    PILATE: 'Dickus'?

    GUARD #1 and GUARD #2:chuckling

    PILATE: He has a wife, you know. You know what she's called? She's called 'Incontinentia'. 'Incontinentia Buttocks'.

    GUARDS:laughing

    PILATE: Stop!

    Life of brian quotes big gus dickus and friends Pontius Pilate: I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called Biggus Dickus. [one of the centurions in the room starts snickering, drawing Pilate's attention to him] Silence! What is all this insolence?.

    What is all this?

    GUARDS: Ha, ha ha ha ha ha

    PILATE: I've had enough of this wowdy webel sniggewing behavior. Silence! Call yourselves Pwaetowian guards?

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  • You're not-- Seize him! Seize him! Blow your noses and seize him!